साझाबासी हो !!!

Why are people like this?


I have a friend from nepal and he is a decent guy (as I know him and his family) . During his bachelor he had affection for one girl in his class(which was natural of course for boys), when he completed his study he knew that the girl also had some felling for him ibut she never expressed it nor did my fren. He always was afraid of the if he expressed his feeling to the girl the girl might be hurt as she seems to be a stright forward girl.(this as what he told me). 

 After he did his bachelors got a decent job in nepal  But like all of us he had his craze for comming to US . He appied to  university and got his I20 and all the stuff when he was just about ready to apply for F1 he was selected for DV and got his 1st letter. As he already had a decent job in Nepal, he and his family thought that they might as well wait for DV and leave the student visa. In the mean time his girlfriend went to US in F1 and was studying there.

As some us might know how frustating the process of DV is (and his case number was very much at the last) he was not even sure if he would get the 2nd letter or not. In the mean time he used to talk with here online and stuff like that and one day his girlfriend expressed her feeling and he was very happy for hearing that. Things went well.

After sometime he go his 2nd letter, got his visa and went to US (but in the different state then his girlfriend). They would still talk in skype and MSN but had never meet each other in person in US. 


One day she asked him to login to her email and see for some info as she was not able to login into the internet. This was the day when he found out that she had an affair with someelse during their studies, it was more than the affair, they were lending out money and sharing other stuff too. He just read some of their emails and found out that

The time when the girl expressed her feeling concided with the time the other guy was getting married to some other girl. And even after the guy got married his girlfriend was writing him email and personal stuff, feeling towards him etc.(till this he never felt any problem)

Then he read one mail from man (he googled and later knew that the man was immigration lawyer) and knew that his girlfriend was thinking of secertly marrying the man and live in US and this too was sent recently .

Now my friend is dreppesed not coz his girl had other man in his life(which he thinks is natural) but coz the girls lied to him when he asked if she had any one in her life besides him and she still had intensions to marry that man. 

Now he knows all this but he had not told this girl any thing about this.
 
So साझाबासी I need help !!
Can you tell what he need to do now?

Suggest something like

सर्प पनि मरोस् लठ्ठी पनि नभाँचियोस् 

My advice is harder said than done, but I think is the best choice: Forget her and move on. Life is too precious to dwell over past memories.

थापाजी
जिन्दगी एक छिन् को खेल हैन ,तेसैले अब नयाँ अध्याएे सुरु गर्नु राम्रो हुन्छ |
लब र् सेन्तिमेन्ट सबै भुलेर यथार्थ धरातल मा जिउने |

Yes, just tell the girl why you can't marry her or why you you want to go away from her life. That would be good..

सर्प पनि मरोस् लठ्ठी पनि नभाँचियोस्
Kill the snake with a gun.

Better come clean about this. Tell her what he saw and that he shouldn't be taken for a fool. Sometimes honesty is best policy.

 first the story is told from third person who is his fren and he is too much concerned about him. (or may be himself). second the story is weird. why would she let her passport if she had such mails.????????????????

I somehow get something fishy in the story. Either this girl doesn't give a shit about this guy or she is crazy to lend her password that would unleashed her secrets. My suggestion is dump this b**** and move on.

I aint making fun of yu nigga...coz i dnt have to..your story itself is funny....
Yu acting like yu knw every single stuffs of somebody's( your friend) life. I need to say man either yu r nosy as a b**ch or you r narrating your own story. If not don't yu worry abt else's s*** myan.
Ok!!!lemme assume everuthing yu saying is true. Then your friend need to leave that dumba** b***h. Aint nobody gonna give there password with such stuffs...

OR... It may sound lil harsh..may be she was trying to dump him..but she couldn't tell directly..nd made a drama out of it
Whateva it is chill out nigga there are more women in the world than men.

Good narration, Thapaji,
but who are 'he' and 'she'

First of all, she gave her password to your friend shows her level of dumbness. She doesnot deserve your friend lol

Secondly, the guys was not supposed to go after her private mails. Coz  tyati pahiely dekhi ko crush rahechaso, but still past ignore garna sakena.

girls ko kaami chiana, if he can move on , forget abt that girl . But if he still wants to settle down with her if the details are reasonable, then it would be better to contact THAT GUY ( her ex) . What was the reason for their break up ? Worst reason would be she left that guy coz your friend won DV which he will never get to hear from her side.   If there were other things, then it depends on your fren and her.  How deep was their relationships, Is the girl mentally prepare to forget that guy ( overcome her feelings over that guy) etc.  

About the second guy, it could be just contract marriage as it was supposed to be secret marriage. Your friends need detail info on that.

The best he can do is :
Apologise with the girl for reading her emails. 
Then he is ready to ask whatever he wants to ask
What was the relationship with the first guy( married guy) .
How long did the relationship lasted
How deep is the realtionship ( could be online only , could be best friend or .....)
Why that guy married othe girl ( if posible ask this question to that guy too if he cooperates)
Would it be possible for her to forget about that guy , particulary the relationships with that guy?

Who is second guy,
Is he a boyfren too?
What happen to the plan of getting married with that guy?

and othe things your friend thinks he should know.


Take a time and let your friend decide after he knows all of these clearly.
If your friend wants to be with her, dont go for court marriage only. Make sure everyone especially her families and friends know about the marriage.
I dont know if it is possible. If it is , dont file for her residency here until you guyz have kids together. and let her know abou this before marriage coz I have read couple of times in sajha that the marriage lasted until the girl recieved GC.




If he wants to leave her, they are in different states. So he can just ignore her phone calls, emails, texts and go with different girl or he can write one email to her  and stop whatever is going on any time.

 

well, this story seems somewhat fishy

why did the girl gave the password if she has such emails and conversations? is she trying to get rid of the guy ( showing her secrets because boys trust level is very thin)? 

And how stupid is that boy who is judging her with those emails and convesation without talking to her? 

Oh yes, he is sharing wiith his friends and his friend is making it public; very nice

C'mon, the main thing is "is she faithful or not?" and your friend can have a good conversation with her, ask her about emails and truth will be there on the spot

Like this, you will know what is girl trying to do and boy can decide easily 

There is nothing wrong to inquire a lawyer for possible ways of obtaining a greencard from a potential spouse. I would be happy to know that she is getting serious. Your moron friend is a lucky bastaard and he don't realize.dv and the girl he wants more he wants . Slap tahat bitttch

थापा जि अनि अरु साथीहरु

may be thapaji's friend need to give the girls girls one last chance to clearify the thing?? May be she was so shocked by the marriage of her BF that she was looking for some one and found thapaji's friend ???what do you say???

 OK guys

The result is out. The girl broke up with my friend. She told him that he was not good enough for her. My friend tried several times that he would make her happy for rest of the life and try his best to be ne perfect for her. She still want to have a break up.

Just for the records Are all girls like that??? I am also a girls and I never though so. 

Now my friend is really depressed . He cries when he is alone and says to me that he did all is best to make her happy. I told him " IT IS NOT THAT YOU ARE NOT PERFECT FOR HER BUT SHE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER"

so all sajha basi out there I request you all to give him suggestion and advice ( He is regular is sajha and he would definately look at all of your comment and suggestions).

Don't be a twat.. Grow up... There are lots of girls out there...

 hyaa...feri arko samasya ketiko kaaranle garda. 
baalai ho ni, kaali gaye gori aauchhe! 
tyasto 17 tira mann bhulaudai hidne ketiko pachhi lagera hudaina,
ramro-naramro hudai garchha lifema, hares khanu bhayena!
baru belaima tirmo saathilai sabai thaha bhayechha, ramro bhayo.
aba tyo ketilai samjhera rune hoina, euta ghaado panchhiyo bhanne sochera aaramsanga agadi badhne ni!

 How abt NamitraThapa + That Guy.. R u in Love with that Guy??.. and UHHHH he has a DV too.. 

Ask your friend to read this interview........
This interview gives a good insight into how one should take relationship and life like...... Its inspiring for me, and many of my frens felt that too....
________________________________________________________________



मैले विवाहका लागि उपयुक्त साथी पाएँ

 

डेरीको दूध पाइन्छ भने गाई किन पाल्ने भन्ने तपाईं अबचाहिँ गाई नै पाल्ने मुडमा पुग्नुभयो होइन ?

खै यो कुरा कहाँबाट निस्कियो थाहा छैन, मैले विवाहलाई कहिल्यै त्यसरी हेरेको छैन, किनभने विवाह भनेको एउटै कुरामा मात्र केन्दि्रत छैन अर्थात विवाह दूध खान मात्र गर्ने कुरा होइन, गाई पाल्नेले पनि दूधकै मात्र आशा राख्छन भन्ने पनि होइन, गाईवस्तुप्रतिको लगाव, प्रेम र खाँचो महसुस गरेर पाल्नेहरू पनि छन्, दूध दिन छोडे पनि गाइ पालेकै छन् त।

विवाहको विपरीत सोच राख्ने तपाईंले यसको आवश्यकता कसरी महसुस भयो नि ?

विवाहका बारेमा मेरो आफ्नै दृष्टिकोण भए पनि म नितान्त रूपमा विपरित लिंगीसँग सम्बन्धै नभएको पुरुष भने होइन, जीवनको अहिलेसम्मको यात्रामा महिलाहरू मेरा अभिन्न मित्रका रूपमा आएका छन्। हाम्रो जुन किसिमको सामाजिक अवधारणा छ म त्योभन्दा पृथक् मानिस होइन, मेरो जीवनमा महिलाहरूसँगका विभिन्न सम्बन्ध भए। जहाँसम्म प्रेमको कुरा छ, थुप्रैसँग लामो र छोटो किसिमका रिलेसनसिप भए, तर विवाह सम्झौता हो भन्ने दृष्टिकोणका कारण मैले त्यसतर्फ ध्यान दिइन्, तर अहिले आवश्यकता महसुस भयो। मैले यसअघि जुन प्रकारको रिलेसन राखे, ती सम्बन्ध विवाहका निम्ति तयार थिएनन् भन्ने मेरो बुझाइ छ। अर्को कुरा मलाई आफू अचानक विवाहको मुडमा पुगेको पनि लाग्दैन, अब भने विवाह गर्नुपर्‍यो भनेर यो उमेरमा निर्णय गरेको भन्दा पनि अहिले आएर मेरा लागि सही व्यक्ति पाएँ, जसका कारण विवाह गर्ने निर्णय लिएँ भन्नुउपयुक्त हुन्छ । किनभने विवाहका लागि मुख्य कुरा जीवनसाथी सही हुनुपर्छ, अहिले जो मेरो जीवनमा छिन्, उनी मेरा लागि सही छिन्।

अहिलेसम्म राजेश हमालको जीवनमा कति गर्लफ्रेन्ड आए त ?

मेरो जीवनमा धेरै कारणले धेरै महिला आए, किटान गरेर हिसाब किताब निकाल्ने कुरा आएन, सबैसँग प्रेम वा रिलेसनसिप नै थियो भन्ने पनि छैन। २० र ३० को दशकमा टुरिस्ट गर्लफ्रेन्ड धेरै थिए, उनीहरू ५ दिनका लागि नेपालका आएका हुन्थे, त्यसैले त्यस्तो सम्बन्ध छोटो समयका लागि थियो, केही रिलेसनसिप अलिक लामो पनि रह्यो। जीवनमा धेरै गर्लफ्रेन्डका रूपमा आए भनेर भन्न म लाज मान्दिनँ, यसलाई म सकारात्मक रूपमै लिन्छु। केटी साथीहरूसँगको सम्बन्धले मेरो जीवनमा थप ऊर्जा मिल्यो। उमेर अनुसार जीवन जिउने मेरो आफनै शैली थियो। महिलाहरूसँगको सम्बन्धबाट मैले जीवन जीउने कला सिकें, जीवनका थुप्रै रंग बुझ्न सहयोग पुग्यो। संख्यात्मक रुपमा कति आए भनेर म भन्न सक्दिनँ तर लामो रिलेसनसिप ६ जनासँग चल्यो। 

राजेश हमालका यति धेरै अफेयर किन चर्चामा आएनन् त ?

आएका छन् नि, मेरो कलेजकालीन अफेयर प्रायः सबैलाई थाहा छ, त्यस्तै केही सम्बन्धहरूका बारेमा पत्रपत्रिकामा समाचार छापिएका थिए। रिलेसनसिपलाई लुकाउनुपर्छ भन्ने मान्यता मेरो छैन, तर मेरा सबै लामा रिलेसनसिप विदेशी महिलाहरूसँगै भएकाले यस विषयमा कोही जानकार रहे, कोही रहेनन्। म ती सबै रिलेसनसिपलाई अमूल्य मान्छु, ती सबै सम्बन्ध मेरा लागि धेरै महत्वपूर्ण रहे। त्यो सम्बन्धलाई विकास गर्ने महिलाहरूको म कदर गर्छु। उहाँहरूप्रति मेरो रेस्पेक्ट छ।

अहिलेसम्म जीवन रिलेसनसिपमै चलिरहेको छ, अब पनि किन विवाह गर्नुपर्‍यो नि ?

जीवन भनेको म्याराथुन रेस होइन, एउटै ट्रयाकमा कुद्नपर्ने, जीवन विभिन्न ट्रयाकमा दौडिन्छ। उमेर, सोचाइ, बुझाइअनुसार व्यावहारिक रूपमा जीवन चल्छ, उमेर अनुसार जीवन भोग्न जान्नुपर्छ, त्यसैले अहिले सम्मको मेरो जीवन मेरा लागि निरस रहेन, जुन प्रकारको जीवन मैले विगतमा भोगे त्यो गर्व गर्न लायक छ। रहयो अबको जीवनको कुरा, त्यसलाई पनि म निरस बनाउन चाहन्नँ। ३० को दशकको जीवन र ६० को दशकको जीवनमा धेरै फरक छ। विगतको अनुभवले मलाई अझ परिपक्व बनाएको छ। विवाह गरेर अघि बढ्न र निर्णय लिन मलाई उमेरले नै सिकाएको हो।

कुनै नेपालीसँग लामो रिलेसनसिपचाहिँ रहेन ?

मैले माथि उल्लेख गरेका पाँच-छवटा रिलेसनसिप सबै विदेशीसँगै थिए, तर अहिले मैले जसलाई जीवनसाथी बनाउँदै छु, उनी नेपाली नै हुन्, त्यसैले नेपालीसँग पनि लामो रिलेसनसिप रहने भयो नि ...

छोटो प्रकारको सम्बन्ध धेरैसँग रहयो भन्नुभयो, त्यसमा त नेपाली महिला पनि थिए होलान् नि ?

आफ्नो उमेरको २० र ३० को दशकमा मेरो सम्बन्ध अक्सर विदेशीहरूसँग थियो, टुरिस्टहरू मेरा गर्लफ्रेन्ड थिए। म नेपाली गर्लफ्रेन्ड थिएनन् भन्दिनँ, तर धेरै कम थिए। आदर्श साथीका रूपमा पनि नेपाली महिला साथी थिए, डिप रिलेसनसिप कम नै थियो।

यो प्रेमको सुरुवात कसरी भयो नि ?

यस विषयमा अहिले धेरै कुरा नगरौं। एउटा गेट टुगेदरमा उनीसँग भेट भयो। भेटकै क्रममा उनलाई मैले आफ्नो टाइप र नेचरसँग मिल्ने खालको पाएँ। उनी मेरा लागि फिट थिइन्। म उनीप्रति पनि आकषिर्त हुँदै गए। हामी दुवैको मन मिल्यो। हामीबीच समझदारी र प्रेमकै कारण सम्बन्धले स्थान पायो। उनको समर्पित प्रेमका कारण पनि म उनीप्रति आकषिर्त भएको हुँ।

उमेरको ठूलो ग्याप हुँदैन र ?

हो, उमेरमा ग्याप छ, तर वर्षले ग्याप भए पनि एकअर्काको भावना बुझ्नका लागि उमेरले खासै महत्व राखेको छैन। हामीबीचको सम्बन्धले त्यो ग्यापको अनुभूति गराएको छैन, तर पनि ग्यापका कारण हतारिएर विवाह गरेर भोली कुनै किसिमको समस्या नआओस भन्ने मेरो चाहना हो।

विवाहको प्रस्ताव कसले राख्यो त ?

विवाहको प्रस्ताव कसले राख्ने भन्ने प्रसङ्गै आएन, हाम्रो प्रेम म्युचुअल अन्डरस्ट्यान्डिङमै भयो। यो उमेरमा आइपुगेर विवाहको प्रस्ताव राख्ने कुरा पनि आएन, सम्बन्ध नजिकिँदै जाँदा धेरै कुरा मिल्न गएकाले पनि हामी विवाहको बाटोतर्फ अघि बढेका हौं। माया गाढा हुँदँ गएपछि हामी सँगै जीवन चलाउन सकिन्छ कि भन्ने अभ्यासमा छौं।

परिपक्व हुन नसकेको प्रेम भन्नुभयो, अझ प्रस्ट्याइदिनुस् न ?

हेर्नुस्, दही जम्न जम्न लागेको बेला हल्लाइदियो भने त्यो नजम्न पनि सक्छ। दही जमिसकेको छैन, तर बन्ने प्रक्रियामा लागिसकेको छ। त्यसैले विवाह हुने प्रक्रियामा छ, समय आएपछि यसको औपचारिक घोषणा गर्नेछु, त्यसकै लागि मैले आफ्नो रिलेसनसिपलाई पि्र-म्याचोर्ड भनेको।

उहाँसँगको प्रेममा तपाई पागल भैसकेजस्तो देखिन्छ नि ?

म त्यस्तो पागल प्रेम गर्ने व्यक्ति होइन, म प्रेमलाई प्राप्तिसँग पनि जोड्दिनँ। हामी दुवैले त्यो हिसाबको प्रेम गरेको होइन। म कसैलाई देख्नेबित्तिकै आकषिर्त भएर प्रेम गर्ने व्यक्ति पनि होइन। एक स्टेजसम्मको सामिप्यता भैसकेपछि उनका धेरै कुराले मलाई आकषिर्त गरेको भने हो, त्यसकारण पनि हामी दुवै सन्तुलित प्रेम गरिरहेका छौं।

Man the guy needs some Mexicano gal, no more Nepali chix

Get laid
Everythings gonna be alryt.

@namrita: timi kasto kt yar ktaharuko samasya ani marka bujhidine... Help ur friend as a supportive fren n help him to grow i know it is difficult to forget her but plz help him to know abt that girls is she really love ur fren as he do? Ur fren should know that आफुले माया गर्ने मान्छेसँग भन्दा आफुलाई माया गर्ने मान्छेसँग जीबन जीउनु धेरै सजिलो अनि आनन्ददायी हुन्छ ।